How to Quit Facebook & Extroverts Need Not Apply
Until we come up with a pill to cure extroversion let the afflicted have their facebook.
There are those who 1) love facebook and have no desire to quit; 2) feel like they have to be on there but really don't enjoy it; 3) feel like they have to be on there because that's who they are. Find tips below for group two.
Unfollow-then-unfriend. It can be scary to just unfriend. Try unfollowing first.
Unfriend a batch at a time. Just 10 or so friends, unfriend them.
Reach out to your closest friends just after unfriending them. They may not answer, some are so tunnel-visioned they only respond if you message them from within the blue 'f' silo. Grant yourself permission to perform some light stalking.
---Beware the backlash. Quite possible you'll notice a physiological energy surge when interacting with those you no longer see on facebook. "You're really intense" they may say. No it's not you, you're not a person-repellent. You're just off the dope and your senses are heightened.
More tips:
Reach out to your friends before unfriending them. You'd be surprised at how supportive some are. "Good for you - I've had people unfriend then re-friend me and I never knew they'd unfriended me in the first place" one said to me through messenger.
Following that - unfriend-then-refriend. See? It's not so hard. This is how toddlers learn more independence, they keep looking back at mom and dad. Then take another step. Sound pathetic? The blue 'f' is our parent now, and we're toddlers?
The paper intercept. Get a paper journal and a really nice pen, like the Pilot Precise V5. Your handwriting may be quite sloppy from atrophied penmanship. Recover your thoughts over weeks and months. Computing products are often designed to be extensions of ourselves. Penning thoughts on paper severs that limb.
The final leg: unfriend the trawler's net of remainders - give them the gift of missing you. You'll definitely feel an energy surge when this is complete. IRL people confess they had to take a deep breath to unfriend the last 30.
---You're out! You can de-activate, unfollow. But until you unfriend that last group you're still attached to the big blue silo.
Go to the library. I finished six books the week after the last step. I asked if I was at my limit when I checked out a seventh item - the limit, the librarian told me, is 50 items. Books are so much like friends.
Stalk your friends. They won't answer. Stalk again. Cajole. Meet your neighbor. Get annoyed with your neighbor. Admit it was you who annoyed your neighbor. Miss your neighbor.
Experience boredom. Boredom, it's been so long! Boredom's an itch that prompts initiative.
Before your new addictions fill the void savor this moment. You've carved space for insight.
Join twitter.
Get some antidepressants. Laugh all you want but the loneliness may be more intense than people advertise. Also, antidepressants even the lowest dose cut in half, can curb that impulse to go back to old habits. This writer is not a doctor.
UPDATE: My account, with zero friends, still exists. Someone warned me facebook will friend people for you when you're not there. I logged into my zero-friend account to check. The platform had not friended anyone on my behalf. BUT. There were messages from a few facebook ex-friends who were alerted by the platform I'd left, inviting me to join facebook messenger.
One thing I really don't miss: facebook is backwards-focused. I turned off anniversary notifications but the setting didn't stick. I want to live in the present and press to the future. Twitter is helpful for that. Also daily papers and weekly monthly quarterly magazines. Even old books taxi you forward - if you haven't read them before. And if you have.
----
Further reading: Carve Space for Insight: Just Sit There . Staying off an addictive site can be easier when you engage in an arresting one, like sites described in A 'Paper Interface': What?
There are those who 1) love facebook and have no desire to quit; 2) feel like they have to be on there but really don't enjoy it; 3) feel like they have to be on there because that's who they are. Find tips below for group two.
Unfollow-then-unfriend. It can be scary to just unfriend. Try unfollowing first.
Unfriend a batch at a time. Just 10 or so friends, unfriend them.
Reach out to your closest friends just after unfriending them. They may not answer, some are so tunnel-visioned they only respond if you message them from within the blue 'f' silo. Grant yourself permission to perform some light stalking.
---Beware the backlash. Quite possible you'll notice a physiological energy surge when interacting with those you no longer see on facebook. "You're really intense" they may say. No it's not you, you're not a person-repellent. You're just off the dope and your senses are heightened.
More tips:
Reach out to your friends before unfriending them. You'd be surprised at how supportive some are. "Good for you - I've had people unfriend then re-friend me and I never knew they'd unfriended me in the first place" one said to me through messenger.
Following that - unfriend-then-refriend. See? It's not so hard. This is how toddlers learn more independence, they keep looking back at mom and dad. Then take another step. Sound pathetic? The blue 'f' is our parent now, and we're toddlers?
The paper intercept. Get a paper journal and a really nice pen, like the Pilot Precise V5. Your handwriting may be quite sloppy from atrophied penmanship. Recover your thoughts over weeks and months. Computing products are often designed to be extensions of ourselves. Penning thoughts on paper severs that limb.
The final leg: unfriend the trawler's net of remainders - give them the gift of missing you. You'll definitely feel an energy surge when this is complete. IRL people confess they had to take a deep breath to unfriend the last 30.
---You're out! You can de-activate, unfollow. But until you unfriend that last group you're still attached to the big blue silo.
Go to the library. I finished six books the week after the last step. I asked if I was at my limit when I checked out a seventh item - the limit, the librarian told me, is 50 items. Books are so much like friends.
Stalk your friends. They won't answer. Stalk again. Cajole. Meet your neighbor. Get annoyed with your neighbor. Admit it was you who annoyed your neighbor. Miss your neighbor.
Experience boredom. Boredom, it's been so long! Boredom's an itch that prompts initiative.
Before your new addictions fill the void savor this moment. You've carved space for insight.
Join twitter.
Get some antidepressants. Laugh all you want but the loneliness may be more intense than people advertise. Also, antidepressants even the lowest dose cut in half, can curb that impulse to go back to old habits. This writer is not a doctor.
UPDATE: My account, with zero friends, still exists. Someone warned me facebook will friend people for you when you're not there. I logged into my zero-friend account to check. The platform had not friended anyone on my behalf. BUT. There were messages from a few facebook ex-friends who were alerted by the platform I'd left, inviting me to join facebook messenger.
One thing I really don't miss: facebook is backwards-focused. I turned off anniversary notifications but the setting didn't stick. I want to live in the present and press to the future. Twitter is helpful for that. Also daily papers and weekly monthly quarterly magazines. Even old books taxi you forward - if you haven't read them before. And if you have.
----
Further reading: Carve Space for Insight: Just Sit There . Staying off an addictive site can be easier when you engage in an arresting one, like sites described in A 'Paper Interface': What?
